Getting Back on the Horse

I thought it appropriate to use a phrase Nate and I often joke about as the jumpstart back into blogging. Hell, I really don't have many better things to do with my time--it's just a matter of not being lazy. So here I go again, particularly to assist Nate in his ability to hold a sports-related conversation and partially because I like to bitch. (This return will last maybe a week...)

First off, I'll weigh in on a few controversies that are worth noting. If they are good enough to make it on PTI, they're good enough for this.

NBA

-Bulls trade Eddy Curry after he refuses a DNA test.

First off, this one hits home because I'm a Bulls fan. I can see both sides to it (and both are ugly), but I have to side with Jim Paxson on this one. If my star center missed the end of the regular season and entire playoff series because his heart was skipping beats, I'd want insurance too. In Illinois it is very legal for an employer to request a DNA test, but ethically questionable. So Jim asked, Eddy refused, Isiah wanted a low-post presence--everyone wins. I'm not sour, though, because Eddy outstayed his welcome and Mike Sweetney might actually live up to some hype. It's high time to fear the Bulls once again.

-NBA introduces dress code for players.

I am not even going to get into the ridiculous claims that this is a racial element meant to bring down the black athlete, but I will say I'm mixed on the subject. I don't think it is bad simply because at most places of business there are particular dress codes and it surely does no harm to look professional. I don't think it good simply because I consider it highly unnecessary since most fans don't pay any attention to how the players are dressed anyways. Everyone expected outrages and refusals to comply by all kinds of players, but the first one to break the dress code was the most unlikely of candidates, Toni Kukoc. The Croatian shows up wearing a plain white t-shirt and said he just wants to be comfortable. Bless Toni Kukoc, the freedom fighter.

NFL/College Football

-Minnesota Vikings go on a sex cruise during week off.

What? Pro athletes shagging lots of women on yachts? This is an outrage! Oh well, I didn't mind because instead of practicing or watching tapes they decided to have some fun and then lost to the Bears 28-3. I think the franchise is full of issues to deal with right now, so this shouldn't be making the headlines.

-USC coach and player fake a suicide on Halloween.

Absolutely hilarious. Not just because of the joke, but how upset some people got. It reminds me of that Jack Handy line, "Don't worry. Someone will try and catch you because, hey, free dummy."

NHL (I don't follow hockey, but I don't know which of these two stories shocked me more.)

-Former coach and general manager Jacques Demers admits he's illiterate.

The guy can't read or write. Wow. Well, he certainly proves you don't have to be smart to be successful in life, or at least in sports. I would assume at some point he would have had to sign a contract and read important documents and jot down notes for his players and spell Canadien! I guess not. (His wife found out after he kept putting off paying household bills because he couldn't write a check.) Oh, and he attributes his inadequacies on an abusive childhood. This spurned an ESPN reporter tonight to consider there may be more individuals out there who have this problem than we know about. That can't read or write?! What is this the deep south?

-Todd Bertuzzi returns to the ice after crippling Steve Moore.

Everyone in America should know this story because it stretches far beyond remedial sports debates. If you don't know what I'm referring to, last season Bertuzzi came up behind Moore and attacked him by blindsiding him during a game and punching him in the face. Moore dropped to the ice, his neck immediately broken. Bertuzzi was suspended for the remainder of the season, however, lucky him, the NHL went on lock-out and was abruptly ended last year. This season an agreement was reached and the players are back on the ice, including Bertuzzi, but not Moore. Sure he fulfilled his punishment, but the question is whether or not it was too small. Many columnists claim he should not be allowed to play until Moore is rehabilitated and can also play. According to our friend, Hammurabi, shouldn't the punishment fit the crime? A player ended another player's career. Steve Moore was simply living out his dream of playing professional hockey and it was brutally taken away from him. The dire consequenses weren't intentional, but the cheap shot to the face sure was. Who knows, maybe having to live with the guilt and title for the rest of his life is punishment enough.

WNBA (Although I don't really count this as a sport.)

-Sheryl Swoops came out and admits she is a lesbian.

Not only that, but she defects the idea that people are born gay and claims people have to turn gay. Apparently that's what a decade of time in a women's lockerroom will do to you. The self-labeled pioneer is hoping to inspire male athletes to come out, but we all know it won't happen. The testimony I'm still waiting to hear is that of her recently divorced husband and eight-year old child. Evidently she wasn't born gay or she's been pump-faking more than her jump shots.