Sports in The Onion

It's nice to see The Onion added a sports section. This peice is for Charles Nims:


Dying Boy Brought In To Cheer Up Kansas City Royals

September 29, 2005 Issue 41•39

KANSAS CITY—Desperate to give their last-place, 100-loss team something to smile about, the Royals arranged to have a terminally ill little boy pay a visit to their clubhouse Tuesday. Danny Gladstone, 8, a leukemia sufferer who is expected to live just long enough to see the Royals make a run at setting a franchise record for losses, arrived at Kauffman Stadium at 11 a.m., and was immediately swarmed by players excited to see someone else who wouldn't be around in October. "I can't even explain how uplifting it is to see somebody who soon won't have to put up with the pain and misery anymore," Royals first baseman and team captain Mike Sweeney said. "Even though we have to endure the same terrible fate again come April, Danny, unlike the Royals organization, will be in a far better place." Sweeney concluded the meeting by promising the boy he would ground into a double play for him during that night's game.

A Night With Betty in the D-Rho Chi

Since moving out of the ol' FH, I have become enlightened on many topics regarding fraternity life and what I had grown accustomed to. I will save my rants about being deemed an "out-of-houser" for another day, but I will reinforce my new belief that the fraternity itself has nothing to do with being happy and enjoying college, it is 100% the people. Sure the association opens doors to meet others and sets the stage for good times, but my friendships I've developed are so much clearer now that I am removed from the environment. For instance...
This morning I went to the pledging/activation ceremony because my brother (the biological one) asked me to read a part. Ironically enough, the segment I read was entitled "Gathering Place", which stressed the importance of seeing beyond FarmHouse as a physical structure. (I will note I had to change a couple words as it didn't seem comfortable to read about "a place we live and meet." Thanks, Kody.) The pledges were glad to see me there and were welcoming, while many actives were not. In fact, one active even asked me why I was there and expressed his displeasure with "an alumni" having a speaking part while he did not. (It was later joked I should have read The Charge.) Things like that really clue you in on who considers you a real friend and who simply called you 'brother' because you shared the same roof. Again, I can go on for hours about the differences between living inside of the house and out, but I won't. Not today.
I guess what I'm saying is I am so thankful for my good friends. I miss many of them as they graduate each year. Tonight Matt Brummett came into town and we spent the evening hanging out, reminiscing, and, of course, playing pitch. I don't see my pledge dad very often, and even after so much time apart we still have a blast. Very few make me just want to smile and are so lighthearted; evidently there was a good reason I chose him four years ago. It felt great just to sit around the FH dining room, laughing it up, enjoying each other's company. In fact, I felt like I was home again.
I know, I broke one of my blogging rules by talking about my personal experiences, but oh well. I say to anyone who would stumble upon this passage, take a moment to think fondly of those with whom you share a special bond. I know I get by with a little help from my friends...