Thursday, October 13, 2005

Killing Time

I know, I know, I should resume studying for my midterm tomorrow, but it's not until 9:00 a.m. and I have all night. Instead, I think I'll post a sports column. My new favorite show of late has been Around the Horn on ESPN at 4:00 p.m. CT, and I highly recommend you check it out at least once a week if you care at all about being updated on the sporting world. It's fresh and funny and gives four sides to any topic. At first I was amazed at how quickly these guys come up with their responses, but after tuning in daily I think I could hold my own. The following are some disagreements with and/or additional points that were made by the contestants this week. I'm convinced I could take Woody Paige in a Showdown finale.

*Today, Jay Mariotti, a Chicago native, claimed the White Sox needed to win game 2 against the Angels or they were done because they could not go into LA and win 2 out of 3. All three of his opponents argued otherwise, but none of them mentioned the fact that this season the White Sox had a better winning percentage on the road than at home. The only other team to do so this year was my beloved Cardinals, causing me to warn Cale about the ChiSox World Series homefield disadvantage. But what do you know, the Sox did end up winning game 2 by quite the controversy. Check it out.

*Tony Cornheiser was asked if Texas challenges USC as the country's top football team, and his arguments were ridiculous. First of all, he mentioned that the Big XII is down right now, and they will go undefeated without much adversity. Next, he pointed out how poorly Big XII teams (Oklahoma) have done as of late in championship games, as well as in bowl games. This latter 'fact' isn't really true, and he is obviosly forgetting Texas did indeed smoke Michigan in the Rose Bowl. (All are strawman fallacies, however, because he's arguing the overall talent of the Big XII, not that of Texas.) His closing argument was that the reigning champs should remain at the top until beaten--a statement that agrees with my belief that pre-season rankings don't mean shit. CF rankings should not be made until at least the third week of the season to avoid courtesy spots (obviously Iowa) and to simply wait and see what each team looks like and who they beat. The way the current rankings system works, you pretty much have to lose to drop spots, so starting off the season with the champs at #1 makes it that much harder to dethrone them. Sure, USC has looked pretty good and hasn't lost yet, but had the rankings been formed a few weeks into the season, Texas might have been first after beating a then-#4 Ohio State. I'll admit I might have put USC atop the poll, but it is absurd to claim Texas is not a serious competitor for the title.

*When debating whether or not Chris Carpenter is a true ace, and Cy Young winner, I don't know how many times I've heard about his late struggles in his last few starts, particularly his September ERA. In case you don't know about the phenomenal season Carp is having, by 'struggle' people mean his one loss. Yeah, he recently lost for the first time since June 8th. His 22 consecutive starts giving up 3 or less runs is just plain sick, and he was averaging about 8 innings a start. Two weeks ago on the show, all four sports writers picked Carpenter to lose his playoff opener to Jake Peavy...I couldn't believe my ears. Instead, Carp threw 6 shutout innings for the win and Peavy gave up 7 runs. Oh, and he also beat Andy Pettitte tonight.

At least they all agreed that A-Rod choked and Ron Artest is out of his f-ing mind.

Here's a random set of stats I saw today that made me smile:

Albert Pujols on the All-Time Lists for Players After Their First 5 Seasons

Runs--1st
Extra-base Hits--1st
Home Runs--2nd
RBI's--3rd
Batting Average--3rd

Good for a Laugh

This is absolutely the most hilarious Road Apple poem I've ever heard. No rhyme scheme, no correct grammar, no anything. Damn, how did Nims write this and think it MADE SENSE?! I don't know, but I think it is perfect the way it is:

So there I was getting ready
For a Sunday afternoon with Krueger and Bunge
That's when I noticed I was almost out of gas
But they both said but not from your ass
So I pulled up to the gas station and got out
Where the hell was my gas cap, what was this all about?
I got back in the car after I remembered it was on the other side
Bunge and Krueger laughed at my stupidity
I'll fix this, I said as I threw it in reverse
I popped the clutch doing a complete 180
I sat there a minute confused
Why the hell didn't that work?
While I was sitting there staring at the pump Bunge and Krueger just stared at me
Finally, Bunge said, "What the hell are you doing?"
You didn't change to the right side
Oh yeah, I guess I didn't.

Nims should write a book, don't you agree?